It's difficult being a parent. Yes, it's rewarding and wonderful, but it's also very, very difficult at times. I can't tell you how many times I've cried from frustration, struggled with decisions, and held back much more when dealing with my son.
Example***
Ollie goes to his father's 2 nights/week. I've been struggling with getting him on a schedule and stabilizing his eating/sleeping habits since we moved. Trying to get his father on the same page, while trying to make it work for me, too, is like pulling teeth. I can't get a break, and it doesn't help that he doesn't have his own room. I'm worried that by the time we get a place, I'll be so rundown from trying to be a good disciplinarian that I won't be able to follow through (not to mention getting him adjusted, yet again, to a new living environment).
Another example**
His teacher told me today that she's worried about his speech, and I should look into getting him to a specialist. Now, I'm not 100% surprised by this. Most people have a hard time understanding Ollie (myself included at times). It just felt like a cold jab in my heart hearing it from his teacher.
I feel like a bad mother some days, and some days I feel okay about it. Sure, Oliver has good manners and can be pleasant, but he also has anger issues (I think) and hits himself when he's frustrated. Sometimes, I worry I may be doing something wrong, and it scares me to death!
All I can do is take advice when it's given to me, and do what I think is right for my son.
I just hope what I'm doing is right. It's all I can do with what I have right now...
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