I need a different job.

I need a different job. Mine is unnecessarily stressful, and i always feel bad for not knowing things.

...washed in the rain. no longer.

getting excited for Jessica's cocktail party tonight... i hope it knocks me out of this funk.
seriously, i have gone mad. fine one second, super-sad the next. i get mad at my family. mad at my ollie. mad at all these circumstances...
i hate living here-away from ohio and nevets.
if we were supposed to break up, it should have happened LONG ago...10 months spent in a long-distance relationship is forever! especially when we only actually saw each other maybe 30 days out of those 10 months.
i just get frustrated.

where's jared to tell me "this too shall pass." ??
i need a hug.
and mitch. and wine.
yes...wine would be lovely.

The red... It filters through

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Ollie and i made these out of play doh

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you can't stop color. it's everywhere.

Soooo! I'm getting back on track with school-ness (feels good), and am still struggling with being in Illinois (feels not-so-good).

I really need a car. If I could get one for REAL cheap that runs well, I'd be a lot less stressed.

I need to mail out christmas cards soon. always a tricky task. do i send them to people i never talk to? or just send one anyway, because it's "that" time of year? hmm...

I miss my boyfriend.

When the hell will these damn potato bugs go away??!! They drive me nuts! always buzzing around lights, and crawling EVERYWHERE! ick!

I gave Ollie a haircut tonight. He kept moving his head to look at the sheers, so I'm not completely confident it looks perfect. But he still looks cute :)

pick me up

i want Stephen to come pick me up. he needs to get here, steal me away, and take me back to ohio with him. i want that so badly.

i need a fucking magic lamp...or just more $ so i could afford to move

drats.

oranges smell so darn good. you could take anything and add orange smell/flavor to it, and I'm sure it would smell/taste quite good.

i just returned from a trip to Columbus. a wonderful trip, if i do say so. i miss my stephen, and i miss the crew.

...i can not wait to move there.

that is all :)

Let me take you down cause im going to...strawberry fields.

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he wasnt sure about wall e as a puzzle...

Listening to this makes me smile

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i had a dream that a wolf was chasing me and some friends on a dark, dirt road. we were driving really fast in some sort of large jeep, but the thing was-no one was actually driving. someone maneuvered a rope around the steering wheel and tied a weight to the other end which hung over the driver's seat. so the jeep was going all wild and all i could hear were snarles and loud paws hitting the dirt-getting closer and louder. i reached over the seat from the back of the vehicle (again, no one was driving or sitting in front) to get a hold of the wheel. i couldnt control it. the last thing i remember was looking back and seeing two, large, yellow eyes amongst a shapeless black cloud.

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The days arent long enough.

it's true what they say

you can't always get what you want. but if you try sometimes...
blah.blah.blah.
what if every crazy scheme just miraculously went the way i planned? i'd probably burst, that's what.
then who's left to do a victory dance? not me!

damn dreams.

i dreamt that i lived in a huge castle in a world full of wizards and magic. i had a rare ability to see these glowing, floating, fetus-like orbs that, when captured, would give you everlasting life. and there was this hunter out to get me so he could use me to gain one of these orbs. he was cloaked and wore a crazy hat with a crow's feather in it. well, i hid around this book shelf on the 3rd floor in my conservatory, until he left the room. the bright blue, glowing orb floated closer to me. i reached out to touch it, and a beam of light shot out from it into my body, illuminating my skin. i, then, joined some friends in a space ship to fly to the outerspace food store for frozen corn and chocolate. we came back to my amazing castle to find all these random people and wizards entwined in some sick space orgy. baffled, i ran up what felt like 30 flights of stairs to meet with a man who must have been my husband. we kissed and a beam of light shot from my fingertips, leaving my skin pale. i was pulled outside myself, looking down on space. planets orbited earth (or the planet i lived on) in a square pattern. looking down, i was pulled around every planet-gazing at each individual ring, star, and moon. and when i felt gravity pulling me down from my flight, i awoke.